delicious bubbly

[her_imperial_radiance]

Elspeth is glad that Milliways likes her, because she likes it. Jacob at her side and a glass of this nice golden stuff in her hand (she's tried the other synthetics; they're nice for an occasional change, but only humans care about dietary variety that much and this one is her favorite) and hubbub from a hundred worlds around her: lovely. A lovely break from work that keeps no one waiting, that doesn't even throw off her sleep cycle because her sleep cycle cares about the sun. (It throws off Jake's, a little, but his is more flexible than hers.)

Comments

[her_imperial_radiance]

"I sometimes just say things, and they're true," says Elspeth. "Usually they're things I actually have some way to know, but sometimes they're not. That's why Jake wanted me to tell him if you were dangerous or not. That works pretty well because Jake cares a lot about the answer. I don't think I can reliably do Milliways physics questions, but I did that one."

[manofmyword]

"Heh," says the Joker. "Now I just need somebody who'll let me visit."

[her_imperial_radiance]

"Well, if you'd kill a lot of people wherever you went, you might have some trouble finding takers," says Elspeth.

[manofmyword]

"It's not exactly a hobby of mine," he says. "Try getting you-know-who to believe that, though."

[her_imperial_radiance]

"If I took you through my door now, you wouldn't hurt anybody," says Elspeth. She blinks. "Well, since I can say that, I'm allowed to take you through, if you want a change of scenery."

[manofmyword]

"I'm not sure I believe you," he jokes. "Sure, let's go! That sounds like fun."

[her_imperial_radiance]

"Okay. Bar, two cases golden bubbly and a six of the blue for Uncle Jasper?" Elspeth asks politely, waving a shiny gold credit card in the bar's direction. She collects her purchases and she and Jake lead the Joker doorward.

[manofmyword]

He bounces as he walks. New people! New places! New places, oh, how he's missed those.

[her_imperial_radiance]

Elspeth holds the door for them, then follows. It's her office.

Exactly one second after she shuts the door, it opens again. "Hi, Nathan," she says to the blond mustached vampire.

"Hi, Princess, hi, Imperial Alpha, hello - gorgeous," says Nathan.

Elspeth blinks.

Jacob groans.

[manofmyword]

The Joker laughs.

"Hello to you too," he says. "Friendly locals you've got around here," this mostly to Jacob and Elspeth.

[her_imperial_radiance]

"It's not usual," says Elspeth. "...Nathan, did you just happen to -"

"Nope! Trusty timer," says Nathan, "brought me here. Best time all week to drop by your office, Princess. But I never know why till I show up. What's your name, babe?"

[manofmyword]

"Hmm," he says, "did I bring another one," and he tilts his head thoughtfully and searches his pants pockets, and comes up with a second joker. Which he kisses and hands to Nathan.

[her_imperial_radiance]

Nathan kisses the card too (carefully, he doesn't want to dissolve it) and then inspects it. "All it's missing is your phone number," he remarks, winking.

"I'm telling Mama," says Elspeth, closing her eyes.

"Go right ahead, Princess," says Nathan, hovering right between sarcasm and sincere respect with the tone of that title.

[manofmyword]

The Joker cocks his head and regards Nathan thoughtfully, eyes sparkling.

[her_imperial_radiance]

"Gonna swipe a set of pamphlets, Princess," Nathan says over his shoulder, "explain to -" He deliberately looks at the back of the playing card, winks, and goes on, "mister registered trademark of Bicycle Playing Cards here, what has just happened." Lightning-quick he's at the stacks of pamphlets in their file folders behind Elspeth's desk, and he chooses a selection and hands them to the Joker like a bouquet.

[manofmyword]

Well, now he's giggling too hard to read any of them.

[her_imperial_radiance]

Nathan can help! He opens up a pamphlet, stuffing the others in the Joker's pocket for him with gentleness and not overmuch groping of the corresponding thigh. "PRPR 1-A," Nathan reads dramatically, "introduction to vampires. Section Three: Mates!"

"Mama's on her way," reports Elspeth.

[manofmyword]

The Joker continues to laugh, clasping his hands together and hugging them to his chest and listening attentively (with giggles) to Nathan's explanation.

[her_imperial_radiance]

Nathan reads through the section like it's overdirected Shakespearean blank verse, even though the prose is quite straightforward and spare, and while he has the pamphlet open, he memorized it instantly on looking at the page and doesn't actually consult it: he just holds level, unblinking eye contact and smiles through the recitation.

The section explains how mates work.

[manofmyword]

"Well," says the Joker, grinning. "Don't I feel special."

[her_imperial_radiance]

"The specialest," says Nathan. "I've been around for hundreds of years with a power that has obviously had it up its sleeve to show me where to find me a mate all along, and it waited for you!"

[luminous_regnant]

The door opens again.

"Well," says Bella, taking in the situation. "Isn't this a mess? What am I supposed to do with him attached to my Imperial Minister of Temporal Affairs? Work out a work-release program with Stella?"

[her_imperial_radiance]

"...Well," says Elspeth. "Maybe."

[manofmyword]

"Mm," he says to Nathan, "just so's you know, sweetheart, this is me dreaming. I'm really asleep on an asteroid in another universe, and I might wake up and vanish any second."

He ignores the talk of work-release.

[luminous_regnant]

"I trust my timer," says Nathan serenely. "Her Majesty knows how this works. She has to figure out a way to stash me someplace that has you in it or she doesn't have a Minister of Temporal Affairs any more, much as it'd pain me to turn in my two weeks. And my timer knows it too. All will be well. Call me sweetheart again, babe, pretty please?" he adds with a sigh.

"You may trust your timer, Nathan," says Bella, "but that in no way makes this uncomplicated. Stella had good reasons for putting the Joker on the asteroid, and she had much better containment resources to work with than I have."

"Complicated for you, maybe, not me. I'm just a poor helpless mated vampire seized by emotions beyond anyone's control, Your Majesty," says Nathan.

"A poor helpless mated vampire who could do his job perfectly well out of the hiding place, if necessary."